Battle Of Brains
Some lines (see ) from Reservation Road (2007)
★ What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?
¤ A rash of good luck. (幸运皮疹)
★ What do you call a deer with no eyes? （什么是没有知识的“路”?）
¤ No i-deer. （不知“道”。）
★ What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
¤ Still no i-deer. （偏偏不知道）
★ If a man speaks in the middle of the forest with no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
★ If con is the opposite of pro, then what is the opposite of progress?
¤ Congress! (政府)
More hard questions in life:
◆ If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
◆ Is a second hand on a clock the second, or actually the third?
◆ Is there another word for synonym?
◆ Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?”
◆ What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
◆ If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
◆ Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
◆ Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive?
◆ Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?
◆ If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
◆ If you are driving at the speed of light and turn on your headlights, what happens?
◆ Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
◆ Why is it that when you transport something by a car it is called a shipment, and when you transport something by ship it is called cargo?
◆ Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
◆ If fire fighters fight fires, and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?
◆ If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
◆ How can you get four suits for a dollar? –Buy a deck of cards.
◆ How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America? –They had reservations.
◆ What can you hold without ever touching it? –A conversation.
◆ What clothes does a house wear? –Address.
◆ What did the rug say to the floor? –Don’t move, I’ve got you covered.
◆ What do bees do with their honey? –They cell it.
◆ Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? –She couldn’t control her pupils.
◆ What do you do when your chair breaks? –Call a chairman.
◆ What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors? –A piano.
◆ What has one horn and gives milk? –A milk truck.
◆ What is a tree’s favorite drink? –Root beer.
◆ Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon? –He took them to a pignic.
◆ Why did the doughnut shop close? –The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
Q: Four legs and a foot but cannot walk, With head without mouth cannot talk (四腿一脚不能走，有头无口不能言) A: Bed (床). Q: What has mouth but cannot talk, and has bed but cannot sleep? (有口不能言，有床不能睡) A: River (河) Q: Why did a student take a ladder to school? A: Because he/she was going to high school! Q: Why did the tomato blush? A: Because she saw the salad dressing! Q: How many apples can you eat if your stomach is empty? A: One. Because after eating one apple your stomach isn't empty. Q: What are the two strongest days of the week? A: They are Saturday and Sunday. All the others are weak (week) days. Q: Which is faster, heat or cold? A: Heat, because you can catch a cold. Q: Which horses have six legs? A: All horses have forelegs (four legs) in front and two in back. Q: What do you drop when you need it and take back when you don't? A: Anchor. Q. What is black when it is clean and white when it is dirty? A: Blackboard. Q: What has teeth but can't eat? A: Comb. Q: Which candle burns longer: a black one or a white one? A: Neither. They both burn shorter. Q: Name five days of the week without Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday? A: The day before yesterday, yesterday, today, tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow. Q: What has a soft bed but never sleeps, a big mouth but never speaks? A: A river. Q: Which eight-letter word has one letter in it? A: Envelope. Q: What is the center of gravity? A: Letter V. Q: What is Black and white and read (red) all over? A: A newspaper. Q: Why is number six afraid ? A: Because seven eight nine (seven ate nine) Q: What did zero say to eight? A: Nice belt. Q: What appears once in every minute, twice in every moment, but not once in thousand years? A: M Q: Which is the left side of a cake? A: The side has not been eaten. Q: Why is a river rich? A: Because it has two banks. Q: What is you ought to keep but also give it away? A: A promise. Q: Where can you never tell the truth? A: When you are lying anywhere. Q: Why is a room full of married couples empty? A: Because there is not a single man in the room. Q: What table has no leg? A: A timetable or vegetable. Q: Why are people close to their mothers instead of their fathers? A: Because the father is always farther (father). Q: What question can never get answer "YES."? A: Are you asleep? Q: What is the beginning of everything, also the end of life? A: E Q: My tail is long, my coat is brown; I like the country, I like the town. I can live in a house or live in a shed; And I come out to play when you are in bed. A: Mouse Q: I sleep by day, I fly by night. I have no feathers, To aid my flight. A: Bat. Q: What kind of apple isn't an apple? A: Pineapple Q: What force and strength cannot get through, I, with a gentle touch, can do; And many in the street would stand, Were I not, as a friend, at hand. A: Key. Q: What lives in winter, dies in summer, and grows with its root upwards? A: Icicle Q: I love to dance and twist and prance, I shake my tail, as away I sail, Wingless I fly into the sky. Who can tell who am I? A: Kite. Q: What makes tears without sorrow and takes its journey to heaven? A: Smoke. Q: Two brothers we are, great burden we bear By which we are bitterly pressed; In truth we may say, we are full all the day, But empty when we go to rest. A: Shoes. Q: Hands she has but does not hold, teeth she has but does not bite, feet she has but they are cold, eyes she has but without sight. A: Doll. Q: At night they come without being fetched, and by day they are lost without being stolen. A: Star. Q: The greater it is, the less you see of it. A: Darkness. Q: I come out of the earth and sold in the market. Who buys me cuts my tail and takes off my suit of silk, And weeps beside me when I am dead. A: Onion. Q: Look in my face, I am somebody; Look in my back, I am nobody. A: Mirror. Q: The beginning of eternity, the end of time and space; the beginning of every end, and the end of every place. A: E. Q: I open wide and tight I shut, Sharp am I and paper cut Fingers too, so do take care, I'm good and bad, so best beware. A: Scissors Q: What is it that is bought by the yard but worn by the foot? A: Carpet. Q: What starts with a T, ends with a T, and is full of T? A: Teapot. Q: What word of only three syllables contains twenty-six letters? A: Alphabet. Q: How to put three sixes together so as to make seven? A: 6+6/6 Q: Why is the letter "A" like noon? A: Because it's in the middle of the day. Q. Why was the hearse horse hoarse? A. Because of the coffin. Q: Do you know why birds fly to south in the winter? A: Because it's too far to walk there. Q: What gets wetter as it dries? A: A towel. Q: What are the 3 important rings in life? A: Engagement ring, Wedding ring, and suffering. Q: Which room has no doors, no windows. A: A mushroom. Q: Why did the man throw a bucket of water out the window? A: He wanted to see the waterfall. Q: Why did the man throw the butter out the window? A: He wanted to see the butterfly. Q: Why did the man throw his watch out of the window? A: He wanted to see time fly. Q: Why did the man put the clock in the safe? A: He wanted to save time. Q: How do you spell mousetrap? A: C-A-T. Q: What do tigers have that no other animals have? A: Baby tigers. Q: Why is number six afraid ? A: Because seven eight nine (seven ate nine) Q: What did zero say to eight? A: Nice belt. Q: What is the difference between the capital of Russia and a calf's mother? A: One is Moscow, the other is a cow's Ma. Q: What do you call a Spaniard who can't find his car? A: Carlos. Q: What's the difference between electricity and lightening? A: You don't have to pay for lightening. Q: What do you call a witch at the beach? A: A sandwich. Q: Why did the traffic signal turn red? A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street. Q: Why are baseball stadiums so cool? A: There is a fan in every seat.